Eragon Morzansson Welcome To MY World
by The Irish Gleek
Summary: Meet Eragon,a new adult,coping with all sorts of problems and can't solve any of them to save his life.
1. Starring ERAGON and his family

So, there I was lying on the ground on a lovely, sunny day. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and I was lying on the ground under the shade of an oak tree, trying to think of an idea for what to do with the day.

And failing miserably.

But I'm getting ahead of myself. My name is Eragon Morzansson, and I am 18 years old .I live with my nut father, who wants to rule the world, my estranged brother, Murtagh who thinks he is the best of everyone, Arya, an elf version of a Mary-Sue, who thinks she is God, the Queen, the President, A Lord and a tree, to name a few. Also, she is a person who is living with us since her house (a castle) burned down (she threw 50 cigars on it) and is glad she is living with us.

Personally, I think she has a crush on Murtagh, but when I asked her, she replied "No" and proceeded to whack me around the head with a hedgehog.

I'll never understand women.

But back to MY life.

After all, that is what really matters.

Hang on, here comes Murtagh.

"Oi, Eragon, what the hell are ya doing with your nose stuck in that stupid diary?"

"A diary!A diary!Ooh,give us a look Eragon!"

"No!"

"Ah come on Eragon ,it won't do any harm."

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

That is better. I shudder to think what might happen if the found my diary….

The next morning, when I went down to breakfast, Murtagh and Arya were chatting to each other, and whenever they looked at me, they sniggered. I blushed .I hate when they snigger at me. But Arya never saw me blush, and when she did, she exploded with laughter.

"Oh my God, Eragon, you are such a girl!"

Murtagh thought this was excellent, and burst out laughing.

"Now that's what ya call an insult!"

I continued to eat my breakfast, but rage was building inside me.

I finally got up the courage to ask "What were ye laughing at?"

Arya laughed and said "You really wanna know?"

I was curious why she said this and replied, "Of course I want to know!"

Arya then grinned and said "Fine. We will tell you."

"Better yet, why don't we show it to you as well?" laughed Murtagh.

He took out a book, and placed it on the table.

He started to read.

Dear Diary,

A diary is meant to be a friend and friends tell each other secrets. I would like to confide to you my secret crush.

My insides tightened .I was wondering who the diary belonged to.

Probably Arya. Murtagh and I didn't use that fancy way of speaking

He continued reading

I was very embarrassed to discover I had a crush on someone-

"Yes Eragon. So was I."

Standing in the doorway was my cousin Roran.

"Uh oh" I whispered to myself.


	2. Starring Eragon the twit

I've decided something. My family is not that bad.

Sure they laugh at me, but all families do that.

But, in every family there is the exception.

It's a tough contest. I'm trying to choose between Arya and Roran.

As you might have guessed, the diary in question was MINE!!

But, back to the story.

"I was surprised Eragon, very surprised indeed. " said Roran.

"I don't know what you are talking about "I replied.

"Don't be stupid Eragon .You know what I mean. " he screamed.

Silence.

"Will I keep reading? "Asked Murtagh, and without waiting for an answer, continued reading.

"NO!!!"I screamed as loud as I could.

I grabbed the diary from Murtagh, and raced to my hideout A.K.A Galbatorix's room.

Nobody will go in there, so I'm pretty safe. I wear protective clothing, you see, to protect me from the smells. Nobody else has one.

Except Roran.

God, I'm a dope. Why did I have to give Roran a suit for his birthday?

Back in room, after escaping Murtagh, who was wearing Roran's suit.

I think I'll write in my diary.

And…it isn't here.

Uh Oh.

I raced down to the kitchen, to hear Murtagh and Arya reading out my diary.

To Roran.

Oh, God, please, someone, kill me.

"This will get you up and at him,Roran!" squealed Arya.

God, she is such a Mary Sue.

I was very embarrassed to discover I had a crush on someone-since that person is Roran's girlfriend, the love of my life, Katrina.I am over Arya completely.

God, Katrina is sooo hot!

oh

My

GOD!!

I'm gonna die now.

Roran just saw me.

He has daggers in his eyes.

If looks could kill, I'd be dead.

I probably won't live much longer anyway.

I'm going to run now.

BEFORE I DIE!!!!


	3. Starring Eragon and his crush

** Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Eragon cast (sob, sob.)**

Oh well. Hope you enjoy the story!!!

Hi. It's me again. Me meaning Eragon.

Ha! Bet you didn't see that coming. I'm alive!!

Guess where I am now?

In Katrina's house!

She loves me back. I can't believe it.

I am the luckiest guy alive.

Hang on. Having 2nd thoughts.

RORAN IS GOING TO KILL ME!!!!!!!!!

Other than that, life is good.

Back to my life story.

Katrina loves me. Katrina loves me.

I'm in heaven. Really.

I think I'll scry Murtagh. For the fun of it.

Ok. Here we go……

**

* * *

**. 

Back at the castle…

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to slit his throat from his head," muttered Roran.

"Roran, aren't you taking this a bit too seriously?" asked Arya."I mean, if you really wanted Katrina, you should have asked her out".

Roran muttered something under his breath.

"What was that Roran? "Arya asked, now puzzled.

"I said, we were ENGAGED!" He screamed and ran off.

"Oh. That explains a lot, doesn't it." choked Murtagh at last.

"Yes, it does." Arya said quietly." It explains everything."

* * *

I was right. I'm dead.

Now Roran hates me.

Wait a second.

He said they were engaged.

He never told me.

He never told me they were engaged.

All those phone conversations we had.

And never told me.

I wonder why.

He never knew I had a crush on Katrina……….

The Twins.

They extracted it from my mind.

When Roran rescued Katrina, he was captured and tortured.

Tortured with the fact that his cousin fancied his future wife and was about to ask her out…

Evil.

Pure Evil.

Pure EvilThe Twins.

My life is a wreck.


	4. Starring ERAGON and his finale

Here is a deep thought from my mind:

Life is complicated. Don't let anyone-ANYONE-tell you otherwise.

Katrina went to visit Roran today. She brought him back to the house.

So we could make up. Sure.

Like THAT'S ever going to happen.

He was rather calm though.

I really wasn't expecting it.

But, I'm not complaining.

I'm just tired. Got to go!

Katrina is calling me.

Coming, my love………

Right. That went well. I'm in bed now.

IN THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!

It turns out I was right about something.

(This never ever EVER happens, so I'm writing it down.)

Anyway, I was right.

Roran IS trying to kill me.

And Katrina is helping!!!!!

Why my love, WHY?

Ah. That's why.

Katrina doesn't love me!!!!

I'm so upset. I found out this morning. I went up my bedroom, and flicked through the songs on my karaoke machine. I eventually found one that suited me, though I changed it a bit.

_Pink - Just Like A Pill. (Now known as Eragon-Just Too Much_

_I'm dying here,_

_On the floor,_

_Where I fell ov - er,_

_I think I ate too much._

_I'm crying here,_

_Why'd you le-ave,_

_Come back to me, please._

_I can't stay in my bed-room,_

_I need to have some stealth._

_Can't keep on singing,_

_It's not good for me health,_

_I tried to call Katrina,_

_But she is being so mean,_

_I wanna get out here…._

Where I can run…(Song is cut off by Roran and Katrina breaking down the door)

"Eragon, come out of there before I kill you!" screamed Roran.

"Never!" I screamed back.

"Ok Eragon, you asked for it!" Roran shouted as he raced into the room.

"You're gonna pay Eragon, for everything you've ever done to me! I tried to be nice and kind to you, Eragon, ever since you just crawled into my life! For 14 years I've wanted to say this to you, Eragon Morzansson:

SAY GOODBYE TO

YOUR

LIFE!!!

And I heard 3 gunshots. They came quickly. I felt the pain as they hit me in the stomach, I heard Katrina scream as she watched me fall from the bed, I saw Roran do a victory dance as I screamed in pain.

I was dead before I hit the floor.


End file.
